hurt people hurt people.

true.

sadly...

I've come to realize that I am a negative force in this world. I've always had this feeling here and there but recently I've come to see this much more fully. As much as I want to inspire people and create passion and a love for life in this world, I don't. I may for a moment -- I've been told that I've inspired people in the past -- but eventually, that fizzles out...and worse, it usually goes to the other extreme where people end up harboring anger, bitterness, resentment. I bring bad energy to this world, apparently.

I'm trying to figure out how I can change this, how I can continue to spark passions in people and make people smile and laugh and want to do great things with their lives without it always ending in some kind of relational disaster where someone is unhappy and disenchanted.

incredibly cute.

& when the sun shines.

And I admit
that I still dream about how things
were before.
I just don't know
if I could give you all this love
anymore.

But my feelings were so strong,
and I waited for so long.

I ain't a fool,
but what if God made me for you?

to quote an eloquent stranger.

"At the end of it, I realized that I was older, more used up, and less attractive than when I had started."

work in progress.

Thanksgiving weekend was more than restful and much more than I expected it to be.

Weekend of clarity and relational progress. It's almost liberating.

pit stop.

Do you ever look at yourself and wonder
how you got to where you are
or how you became the way that you are?
Because you know that at one point,
you weren't here and you weren't this way.

Isn't it a daunting feeling when you realize that there exist people out there
that not only have the ability to make you feel so very small
but that when they do exercise that ability,
it actually affects your being.



How did we get here?
& when did we start caring so much?

resolution #1.

Mend relationships.

intimacy, (p.71).

"Nothing is as fascinating as love, unfortunately."

- Hanif Kureishi

social creatures.

sometimes i wonder why it is God created us with this need for other people.
and even more specifically, why is it that we often feel like we need that one other person?

but for some of us, there may never be another person?

500 days of summer.

if only.

[edit]

true.

i'll track you on the radio.

you can tell the world what you want them to hear;
i've got nothing left to lose, my dear.
i'm up for the little white lies...

so steal the show & do your best
to cover the tracks that i have left.