i will soar with you above the storm.

A wise woman told me earlier tonight that brokenness is a good thing, as it allows us to see how in need of God we are.

Feeling isolated or abandoned by the world should be seen as a step in the refining process. Therefore, I will attempt to be like Paul and count my blessings in the [slow] walk on a narrow, crooked, and painful road.


Already a bonus: Were I not going through this thorny experience, I would not be as conscious of these lessons. That's a start.

the nehemiah band.

Just earlier, I heard my music-buff roommate playing this music video from her computer. She plays a lot of music and a lot of videos so I normally don't notice or inquire, but this time around the first verse of the song made my ears perk up. I heard some Christian-sounding lyrics, which is interesting since my roommate isn't a Christian, so after she finished I asked her about it.

The group is called The Nehemiah Band and were recently featured on MTV Iggy. I was really surprised and intrigued to see that they were an all-Asian group...I always think it's a big deal when Asian-Americans are visible in the movie/music industry. And I was even more impressed that they're a Christian band too. That's like a double minority in the industry!

Check them out:

The 3:18 Movement.

The 3:18 Project is finally starting.

http://the318movement.org

Check it out! :)

dichotomy of pride.

On Sunday PB spoke about Pride and how there are two types. For those of us who have grown up in a church environment, this is not anything new. But also for those of us who have grown up in a church environment, reminders are always good.

The Superiority version of Pride is the one that most people know and think of. The one in which someone thinks that he/she is always right or entitled to something or better than others. He/she can seem ridiculously full of him/herself at times. He/she cannot admit that he/she might be wrong or that someone else is right.

The Inferiority version of Pride is the one in which the person is constantly berating him/herself, always bringing him/herself down, etc. Some people confuse this with intense humility but really, it looks more like incredibly poor self-esteem (not that that is necessarily always the reason for the self-deprecation).

The issue in both of these situations is that there is too much of the Self and not enough of God/Others. Pride is the right category for both attitudes because both attitudes are self-centered/self-absorbed. Humility isn't thinking less of yourself; it's thinking about yourself less.

When PB reiterated this Pride dichotomy, it hit me hard: I am a really, really prideful person. Why? Because I suffer from BOTH ends of the spectrum and encompass none of the middle section of humility and healthy balance. I either think I am the Most Awesome Person Ever or that I have no utility and no value. My attitude is always me-focused.

I was aware of this before but I always thought I'd eventually grow up and learn some real humility. 22 years into this life, I am still far from humble. That's humbling.

officially back.

completely exhausted
& totally blessed.

bbl.

(updated version)

walk with a purpose.

[I wrote this in my journal a number of months ago but felt like sharing again]

26 october 2008
So earlier today, I attended Gulu Walk 2008, a march from downtown Manhattan to the front of the United Nations, to bring awareness to the 22-year war in Northern Uganda and the child soldiers that are plagued by it. 'Twas a fun and really great experience, but there was one thing in particular that struck me this afternoon.

We gathered at 12pm in Washington Square Park, where we had two speakers before we began the walk -- a man who was born and raised in Gulu, Uganda before he came here to become a lawyer, and Melissa Fitzgerald from The West Wing.

When Melissa was speaking, she mentioned how she worked with 14 teenagers in an internally displaced persons camp in Gulu. Before she left, one of the boys asked her for a favor. He didn't ask for money or food or a ticket to America, but he asked her for a book. I waited in anticipation, hoping that Melissa would say that he had asked for a Bible. Instead, he said he wanted a book on Gandhi. He said how he had heard that Gandhi was a great man of peace, and in all the war and suffering that this teenager had seen in his country, he wanted to one day become a man of peace as well.

Most people know that I am a huge Gandhi fan. Gandhi is my boy. I love him like crazy. But I couldn't help but think, why hadn't the boy asked for a book on Jesus? I thought Melissa was going to say that that one, single book that he asked for was the Bible because he had heard of great stories from it about hope and peace. I don't know exactly why he didn't ask for anything about Jesus and I can't even say if he does or does not know if such a book exists, but my mind did wander to the thought that maybe he doesn't know Jesus. Maybe he's one of those 2 billion in the world who have never heard of this name before. And I became pained a bit. Then a worse thought occurred -- what if he had heard of him before but we, as Christians, have not portrayed him very well so that other leaders of peace and revival, such as Gandhi, seem to be a better model or answer to look towards? Regardless of whether he has heard or not, the point is that he didn't say anything about Jesus.

And when those present today heard this story about this boy looking to Gandhi and desiring to be more like him, they were touched at how influential this man was in this boy's life. People nodded, people applauded, people teared up.



We aren't doing enough of whatever it is we are meant to do as Christians.

overcome with Your great love.

lyrics of the day.

i sing to You
forgiven.

mindblowing.

like rain.

'twas grace that brought me safe thus far
& grace will lead me home


hallelujah, grace like rain
falls down on me
hallelujah, all my stains
are washed away
are washed away